Thursday, August 23, 2012

Mun Tu Shudam


Moth and Flame - one favorite theme at the Sufi school of thought! 
In a sufi story by Fariduddin Attar (adapted from the book, Essential Sufism), it says:

One night, very many moths gathered together; devoured by their desire, tormented by their longing to unite with the candle. They all said, 'we must find someone to give us news of that for which we long so earnestly.'

One of the moths volunteered and went to a castle and saw the light of a candle within. Upon returning, it reported the finest details of what he saw. But the wise moth coldly replied, 'It has no real information to give about the candle.' 
Another moth set out passionately. It visited the candle ... passed close to the light ... drew near to it and touched the flame with its wings. It came back jubilant and explained in detail of what little union it had had with the candle. The wise moth, however, still looked displeased.'Your explanation is really worth no more than your comrade's,' it said.

Then a third moth rose up and blinded by the mad desire, doused itself completely into the candle's burning flame. As it entered into the embrace of fire, its members glowed red like the flame itself. The wise moth saw from afar the spectacle of the union. The candle had identified the moth with itself, rendering it it's own glow! 
It turned to all the other moths, and said, 'The one that burnt, this moth, alone understands that to which it has attained. None other knows it, and this is all.'


Friday, August 17, 2012

50K Visits Old!




I'm rather confused if what follows is a letter of gratitude, or a dedication post. Or both.

This blog has mostly been a chronicle of a personal experience.  A soliloquy of sorts. However, your generous on-blog, off-blog feedback made this an energizing interactive learning experience for me. Thank you!  

Once in a moment of absolute gushing over my mum, I had promised to her that one day, when I'll be someone great, I'll write about her. She had looked at me and smiled.
It's almost a decade, since. I continue to be a no one. Greatness has been successfully evading me, and now I've almost come to terms with keeping happy without being 'someone'. :)

However, there are times in this humble existence, when the generosity of others gives me an illusion of myself morphing into 'someone' :). Today is one such time. I'm elated for the kindness you've exhibited in becoming a part of a personal journey. And I name this 'one small step for a blog; one giant leap for this blog' moment to my amman!


She got mentioned at this blog only once, partly because I'm afraid to never be at par to how she deserves to be talked about, and partly because my laptop screen begins malfunctioning whenever I attempt to write about her!

A Pack Of 18 Pencils is where you'll meet her at this blog. 


Thank you all for being as kind as you are!

May the life brimming in the samovar of your self, be the intoxication that unveils the Beloved.

Stay blessed, always. InshaAllah.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

It's 'When' You Choose To Surrender



If you want to change the world… love a woman-really love her. 
Find the one who calls to your soul, 
who doesn’t make sense. 
Throw away your check list and put your ear to her heart and listen. 
Hear the names, the prayers, the songs of every living thing - 
every winged one, every furry and scaled one, 
every underground and underwater one, 
every green and flowering one, every not yet born and dying one…
Hear their melancholy praises back to the One who gave them life. 
If you haven’t heard your own name yet, 
you haven’t listened long enough. 
If your eyes aren’t filled with tears, 
if you aren’t bowing at her feet, 
you haven’t ever grieved having almost lost her.

If you want to change the world… love a woman-one woman beyond yourself, beyond desire and reason,
beyond your male preferences for youth, beauty and variety
and all your superficial concepts of freedom.
We have given ourselves so many choices
we have forgotten that true liberation
comes from standing in the middle of the soul’s fire
and burning through our resistance to Love.
There is only one Goddess.
Look into Her eyes and see-really see
if she is the one to bring the axe to your head.
If not, walk away. Right now.
Don’t waste time “trying.”
Know that your decision has nothing to do with her
because ultimately it’s not with who,
but when we choose to surrender.

If you want to change the world… love a woman.
Love her for life-beyond your fear of death,
beyond your fear of being manipulated
by the Mother inside your head.
Don’t tell her you’re willing to die for her.
Say you’re willing to LIVE with her,
plant trees with her and watch them grow.
Be her hero by telling her how beautiful she is in her vulnerable majesty,
by helping her to remember every day that she IS Goddess
through your adoration and devotion.

If you want to change the world… love a woman
in all her faces, through all her seasons
and she will heal you of your schizophrenia-
your double-mindedness and half-heartedness
which keeps your Spirit and body separate-
which keeps you alone and always looking outside your Self
for something to make your life worth living.
There will always be another woman.
Soon the new shiny one will become the old dull one
and you’ll grow restless again, trading in women like cars,
trading in the Goddess for the latest object of your desire.
Man doesn’t need any more choices.
What man needs is Woman, the Way of the Feminine,
of Patience and Compassion, non-seeking, non-doing,
of breathing in one place and sinking deep intertwining roots strong enough to hold the Earth together
while she shakes off the cement and steel from her skin.

If you want to change the world… love a woman, just one woman. Love and protect her as if she is the last holy vessel. Love her through her fear of abandonment
which she has been holding for all of humanity.
No, the wound is not hers to heal alone.
No, she is not weak in her codependence.
If you want to change the world… love a woman
all the way through until she believes you,
until her instincts, her visions, her voice, her art, her passion, her wildness have returned to her-
until she is a force of love more powerful
than all the political media demons who seek to devalue and destroy her.

If you want to change the world,
lay down your causes, your guns and protest signs.
Lay down your inner war, your righteous anger
and love a woman…beyond all of your striving for greatness, beyond your tenacious quest for enlightenment.
The holy grail stands before you
if you would only take her in your arms
and let go of searching for something beyond this intimacy. What if peace is a dream which can only be re-membered through the heart of Woman?
What if a man’s love for Woman, the Way of the Feminine
is the key to opening Her heart?
If you want to change the world…love a woman
to the depths of your shadow,
to the highest reaches of your Being,
back to the Garden where you first met her,
to the gateway of the rainbow realm
where you walk through together as Light as One,
to the point of no return,
to the ends and the beginning of a new Earth.

Lisa Citore