A Red Signal on Road

What follows is a mail that I wrote to an anonymous someone that I came across at an online-forum Chowk,  and with whom I shared nothing but an introduction of her entanglement in doubts: Devouring doubts. Devastating doubts. Demeaning doubts. DOUBTS.

There always are such times when every mark in life is a question mark; when every space is a blank space. In such times, when the space coordinate is of vacuum and the time coordinate of disillusionment, I am so glad to have stumbled across this manuscript while managing my drafts folder.

"

Life is a tough sport, and for some chosen ones it is tougher. The duration of time that we spend breathing, bears different extents of difficulties for each one of us. I understand that what you are going through is heart wrenchingly painful; and I pray to Lord that your endurance be your strength and may you pass this test of fate and time extremely courageously and gracefully.

If you dont mind, may I please suggest that incase you already do not, try rising early in the morning. Like 6ish in the morn. If you can have it, take a stroll at that time even if its ur balcony. Talk to Allah at that time. A candid heart-to-heart talk. Like you would talk to your bestest friend without any slightest trace of fear of being rejected, or any guilt. Talk to Him. In a few days you shall feel that He talks back to you too, for you shall inshaAllah feel the strain of pressure loosening in ur chest. 

Worked wonders for me when I felt like a loner marooned on a forsaken island. Without any comparisons of circumstances of difficulty, I hope it does for you too.

Its not surprising that you think the way you do. Anyone in circumstances tough as yours could hardly do anything else.

I am no angel myself. I have had my doubts, still have at times. But guess what, every thing in the universe cant be captivated by the dictates of our logic, man believes universe just as much as he understands it. As in what you can not see, automatically gets ruled out of existence. Isn't it so? For centuries the earth remained flat cos man thought it to be so. It isn't anymore :)

This means we have to leave a few matters aside from the realm of 'existence is what I believe exists'. There might be actions-reactions and factors triggering these, that absolutely escape our mental mapping. Nonetheless they remain there. 

You have found yourself losing, no wonder you attribute all your losses to Him. Does this imply that you do find Him the authority figure who controls the strings of your life? You do consider Him the responsible one of your life, dont you? :)

When there is a Controller of things, one has to contact Him if the settings need to be changed.

Have you ever ridden a boat? that desi oar-bot? The one that is driven by a mallaah. We do not know the guy, we feel unsettled in the turbulent waters, we freak out when the boat tumbles over the gushing waves, but we do not jump out of the boat. Why? because we know that he is the guy who shall steer us, we are his responsibility. Faith is like a sailing boat. Boats do drown at times and boat do wreck too, but till the journey lasts, till the destination is reached, the seeker needs the boat, to be able to sail through to the other end.

I am not completely aware of your circumstances, so I am afraid of being too ignorant to keep on going further. Also please forgive me if I have said anything that touched you on any raw nerve.

Hey, just curious, do you stop at red signal while on road?

If you do, do tell me why

"

I halt at red signal, and see the time slipping out of my hands, cursing having to stop while an errand waits to be done ..... but knowing all this time that this is the safety plan. Has to be this way.

I am trying to remind myself the same again.

ps: the addressee's identity has been omitted to maintain the privacy of the individual.