Dil Ka Rus

The fortune of leading the pack of volunteers in a mentoring initiative for the development sector brings with it a fair share of clarity of thought and action, enriching life with plenitude moments of gratitude. 

I haven't, lately, been sharing at this place happenings from my life. 

Today might be a deviation.

Following is an excerpt from a whatsapp conversation between the mentor team leads and myself, and has been reproduced here with gratitude to the team who urged this entire conversation be saved as a document about the balance between the art of dreaming while not escaping reality.

The concern posed was how to keep a rational approach while training male and female mentees for goal setting in life since females do not get an equal opportunity when it comes to careers:

Concern:  

I've realized we give our girls dreams that may not come true. Like you can become an astronaut & what not. Girls boys are equal but they have commitments that demand otherwise, like kids & home.

How do we balance the dream and reality?

Our education system as well as work places, act blind to this.

Reply:

How many boys who want to become astronauts become astronauts?

The ratio of un-met goals isn't starkly different between the genders.

The issue arises when we, in an attempt to make future a pretty sight for the kids, create an alternate reality world. Our job is not to provide them with dreams. Our role is to make them understand the virtue of commitment and the honesty of act. Whatever they do, be it flying a spaceship or raising a toddler while plucking cotton in a cotton field, do that knowing fully well that you're doing your best.

The problem is that we place our goals outside ourselves :)

Jobs - Careers - Position - Status - These are, at best, the addendum. Whenever we encourage children to dream in terms of these we put a limit on their potential as a human.

Our Prophet, whom we call the best sample of a human, tied his own shoes. Washed his own clothes. Ate nothing but dates dipped in water. Wiped his blood when the body was pelted with stones. 

Where were the dreams? Did he not have any dreams?  

He had. And his were like we should have ours - he was assigned a job, he HAD to do it to the fullest of his capacity.

If they have dreams to fly high, it is beautiful. 

Tell them to grow their roots first. So that one day if the wings can't take the pressure of the opposing gale, they don't fall face down. And this can only be done when their strength comes not from their target residing far away in future, but from the character they're harboring right now.

I had a friend who couldn't get into medical college. She spent 4 years coming to terms with the set back.

The point is, how good is the dream of becoming a certain professional when ander ka insan is so vulnerable? :)

Ander ka insan strong karna asal issue hai. Professional qualifications, for girls as well as boys, come second.

Quality of the person, that is our only reality. 

Make the reality strong and dreams will mould themselves around.

The first hero speaker I listened to at my first Rahbar cycle had shared something that I  find absolutely beautiful ....

He said that his father had always taught him one thing, that if everything in life fails and he - the son, ends up with nothing but a "گنے کے رس کا ٹھیلا" (gannay kay rus ka Thaila), his should be the best drink serving Thaila of the town. 

"Dil ka rus nikalna, ganna samajh kar", the old man had taught his son.

I loved it. :)

Documented here for personal reference for future. 
Any feedback is more than welcome. 

Why Must You Join Rahbar?

A Rahbar fellow, Zuhaib Sheikh explains why must we need to be a part of the TCF Rahbar program.
Its not only his words, but also the life pulsating through the accompanying images that makes one a believer in the spirit of Rahbar.

I'm thankful to Karim Jindani for sharing this with us at twitter.

گدگداتی آنکھوں کے

جگمگاتے پردے پر

خواب پروئے تتلی کے

رنگوں جیسے کچے ہیں

  یہ بچے میرے بچے ہیں

ناخدا جو مل جائے، 

پھر یقینی ساحل ہے 

اک ذرا افزائش ہو 

دیکھ کمر کیا کستے ہیں

  یہ بچے میرے بچے ہیں

چاند ستارے ہوں تسخیر

سوچ کے پنکھ جو مل جائیں

خواب اڑانوں کے پرزور

اور ارادے سچے ہیں

  یہ بچے میرے بچے ہیں

دوستی محبت کی

ایک چھٹانک بانٹو  تو

چاہتوں کے موتی یہ

بھر نچھاور کرتے ہیں

  یہ بچے میرے بچے ہیں

If it touches your heart in any way, please be a part of it. Be a part of Rahbar! 

It's just a click away: TCF - Rahbar 

Rahbar can be so much more with your inclusion! 

More About Rahbar

Having first shared the per-requisites of being a Rahbar (here), here's sharing with you the Rahbar JD - as simple as it gets. 

Isn't #Rahbar more about your personal spiritual beauty regimen! 
Hai na? :) 

Rahbar Material

Whenever seeking people out to be a part of Rahbar - TCF's volunteer based mentoring initiative (https://www.facebook.com/TCF.Volunteer.Programmes/) - one of the most common barriers faced is the misconception that the guides/mentors (Rahbars, as we call them) have to be some super human, oh-out-of-this-world individuals!

The fact of the matter is, there is nothing farther from truth than this notion.  

Think of RAHBAR not as a mythical character from a hollywood flick who needs to have every possible achievement in his(/her) bag of goodies, but as earthly an individual as any (wo/)man of clay is made of. 

#Rahbar is someone

• who has seen failure,
• has an idea of how bitter disappointment tastes,
• has gone through ups and down
• YET
• has chosen to keep marching
• and is eager to take other people along as well

Do you see the picture? Mr. Incredible Hulk and Mr. Batman may very well not forward applications, thank you.

So, to help overcome the limiting fence of self doubt, here is a list of questions I thought I could put forward. Following is a set of a few YES/NO answer questions to let you see for your self if you maybe ignoring the Rahbar within you to come out ... Don't rush to reply, you yourself are the jury and the time-keeper.

Be kind to yourself in time-keeping and be honest in judging. :)

Here we go! 

1. My recipe of life includes my family as a basic ingredient. Yes or No?
2. Saying 'sorry' at the end of a conflict is a near death experience for me. Yes or No?
3. Life is an avalanche and not a D.I.Y (do it yourself) project. Yes or No?
4. My usual set of adjectives in everyday lingo is positive (wow... amazing ... wonderful ... etc etc). Yes or No?
5. The most important things in my life are objects. Yes or No?
6. I can't always be the best but I try my best not to cheat (people, emotions, laws, promises, etc.). Yes or No?
7. I think my individual contribution can play a role in shaping up the destiny. Yes or No?
8. I think that as a person, I've grown mature from where I was ten years ago. Yes or No?
9. I'd rather describe myself as a grateful person than a dissatisfied person. Yes or No?
10. I'd like me if I met me. Yes or No?

Now, as you score yourself let me share with you the link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScWSLU50ktTsgg7zn8fMELPzRIbHk8acI152QxdFNZOlTdyEQ/viewform

Another Rahbar session is initiating this October, please fill in the form if the Rahbar in you wants to be a part of it! :) 

Of The Gold Coloured Day

One hundred years 

from now,

it will not matter 

what kind of 

car I drove,

What kind of 

house 

I lived in,

How much I had 

in my 

bank account,

Nor what my 

clothes looked like.

But the world may be 

a little better place

because 

I was important

in the life

of a child.

~ anon.

The day was the first of the last month of the year and we were sitting in the front garden of the National Lace & Textiles, Mill. The sun beat down fiercely and for some time it was difficult to imagine it to be winters already. Apart from the few hiccups that are a part of the routine, it had been a smooth visit to the facility; perfectly drawing to a planned closure. ‘Alhamdolillah’, I thought with a sense of relief, ‘Another milestone successfully completed’. It was the moment when Col. Obaid Zia, CEO of the facility was winding up his farewell address to us: “Forgive me for taking so much of your time in narrating my journey of success. You people must not be enjoying the strong sun. But let me assure you once again, that it was a sheer pleasure to meet you, and host you.” Colonel sb. had been extremely gracious.

I looked at the mentors on my either side and glanced at the mentees in front, ‘Are we done?’ I thought. “Does anyone of you want to ask anything from Sir?” I probed the mentees, a group of almost 60, 15-years old girls visiting the Textile mill as part of an Exposure Trip of the Rahbar Cycle. To be honest, while relaying in my head the words of gratitude I meant to deliver on behalf of the visitors, I wasn’t really expecting to hear a reply to my question. Hence, it took me by surprise when I saw her rising from her seat among rest of the 9th graders. 

"Sir, you just mentioned about taking our time... I want to let you know that the ten minutes you've taken of our time are the most profitable investment we've made today. Years from now, when any of us would've exhausted completely and could be thinking of calling it quits, be it any field, these ten minutes would not let that happen. We will survive. And grow. And shine. Thank you for taking these ten minutes from our time."

She sat down. 

Colonel saheb was beaming, placing his hand over his chest he bowed his head in humbleness; while my spirit soared with pride! 

Nothing that I was about to say could have been more meaningful and more genuine than what had just been said.

As numerous hands automatically moved to clap, I did not know if there was a single thing I was clapping for. The inspiration in the form of Col. sb., the young mentee's honest (& eloquent) words, the gist of the entire excerice that had so well been recieved, the future that sounded so promising, and the realization that we are the today of such a bright tomorrow... it all combined to interweave an overwhelming sense of thankfulness.

The winter sun was blazing uncharacteristically, but what I'll remember this day for is the warmth of heart felt gratitude that filled the air and turned the afternoon a blissful gold.

PS: All conversations have been translated from Urdu with as much closeness to the actual as possible.

Odyssey Account

These days I'm out on a journey; a journey that travels, largely, across the other end of spectrum. There are many new faces I'm encountering. People, ideas, dogmas, beliefs, facts... it's a whole wonderland. I'm the Alice... :D 

Put simply, I'm lovin' it!

I shall try to share the recent voyages over here for the purpose of documentation, and maybe (hopefully) inspiration as well. But meanwhile, it's the crux of these journeys, from the Pulitzer-winning journalist and best-selling author Chris Hedges, that must be shared here...