دشتِ ہلاکت کی آوارگی
They were on their way back after watching Mah e Mir, the movie.
Aay: You've been touched, haven't you?
Ell: Haan, shayad.
Aay: Aisa kion hota hai kay kabhi kabhi hum screen kay samnay say uth kar bhi screen ki girift main rehtay hain?
Ell: Bohat sari reasons ho sakti hain. *pause* Ye gumaan kay screen kay parday pe jo aks lehraya, us main qaid shabeeh tou hamari apni thi, could be one of the reasons.
Aay *turns toward Ell*: Parday pe jo aks lehraya, us main qaid shabeeh apki thi? Zuhra ya Doctor Kaleem. Hai na?
Ell *Laughs, shakes head*: Aisa nahi kaha main nay. Tumhain pata hai iss movie ki sab say khoobsurat baat kia hai? The boldness. The fierce, raw genuineness with which the movie makers created something not for the hoards of audience, garoh-e aam kay liay nahi hai. Pehchaan'nay wali aankh kay liay hai ye daawat-e nazaara.
Aay: Ell, mujhay Dr. Kaleem ka character samjhaein.
Ell: Kia bataoon Doctor sahab ka?
*hums* apni aag main khud jal jaey, tu aisa parwana bun ja!
Doctor sahab ki dressing note ki thi tum nay? Hudood, qayood, nashist, barkhaast, har har angle of personality say qadghan tapak rahi thi. Control. Hold. Reigning in.
Jamal ka character, on the other hand, fiercely untamed. Wild. Without any holds. Uskay garebaan say lay kar uskay pareshaan baalon tak, chaos ruled. Haey, art piece hai poora ye film!
*laughs abruptly* halankay, chaos kay, wehshat kay uuzdahay ko Doctor sahab sambhalay bethay thay apni necktie ki knot main. Jamal bechara tou beh raha tha flow kay sath, Doctor sahab was riding over the dragon.
Aay: Apko lagta hai Doctor Kaleem itna mazboot character thay?
Ell: Mazboot character kia hota hai jaanaaN? Mazboot tou Nawab tha, mazboot tou Naina Kanwal thi. Doctor sahab mazboot nahi, deep character thay. Wo jo alaao ander liay phirtay thay, jo bhatti hama waqt deo-malaee kahaniyon kay aag ugaltay saanp ki tarah ander kundli maray bethay thi, uski hiddat ka halka sa shaiba tak bahir walon ko nahi ho raha tha.
*leans head against the head-rest* yehi deep logon ki kaamyaabi hai, yehi unka almiya.
Aay: Kaamyaabi almiya kesay bun sakti hai?
Ell: Har individualistic kaamyaabi has the tendency to become an almiya. Ye tou phir wehshat ka maamla hai. Da'aymi individual roag.
Zuhra kay liay pata hai kion tarpay Doctor sahab? Kisi aik fleeting moment main Zuhra ki nigah Doctor sahab ki gehrai ki teh say ja takrai ho gi. Phir wo nigah kisi khali kunwain ki teh say uth'ti baazgasht ki tarah khali nahi loti ... Wo nigah Doctor sahab ka dil bhi baandh kay lay aee girah main.
Aay: Ye sab waqaee itna depressing, itna blue, itna akela hai jitna ab soch kay lag raha hai? Doctor sahab looked like a calm person. Zuhra as well, though *chuckles* I wish Huma Nawab nay itna bura salook na kia hota us character kay sath. Bohat powerful character tha. Mujhay tou bechara Jamal suffering lag raha tha.
Ell: *laughs* Huma Nawab nay waqaee wesay Zuhra kay character kay sath dushmano wali ki hai... but kia farq parta hai? The character was so strong, we're still talking about her.
*pause* pata hai, aik bar Ishfaq Ahmed ki baat parhi thi ... Jo loag gham - aik khas threshold ka gham - seh jatay hain na, tou un kay wajood main shaanti utar aati hai. Like a golden halo you can feel an aura of calm around them. Us peace ki, haan, aik qeemat hoti hai jo obviously naazir ki aankh nahi jaanch paati.
Weekend's traffic mad rush halts at the traffic light. Quiet follows in the car.
Aay: Ell, aik baat poochoon?
Ell: Hm. Why would you even ask?
Aay: Whom are you waiting for?
Ell *smiles*: Kia zaroori hai koi intezaar main hi ho?
Dekho Aay, har koi itna deep nahi hota kay apni wehshat, apnay chaos ko zaat kay kisi teh-khanay main qaid kar paey. Aisay insan kay paas do soortain hoti hain: ya tou Jamal ki tarah chhalak chhalak jaey, ya apna sara focus, sari energy apni chhalkan ko contain karnay pe laga day ... Apnay chaos ko apni zaat ka fuel bananay main zindagi invest kar day. Self recharging, you know?
Halka painda hona, for containing an expanding cosmos, aik azaab hai; specially agr apko apni wehshat ka uryaan hona pasand na ho.
Aay: Ell, wehshat share bhi tou ki ja sakti hai na?
Ell *shakes head*: Nah darling! Wehshat tou shadeed infaraadi gift hai. Ap ki qismat glorious ho tou tou apko apni depth jaanchnay wali nigah mil jati hai. Phir ap wehshat baant'tay nahi ho. Ap wehshat pehanchaantay ho. Believe you me, it's divine. To recognize, to be recognized.
Haan, magr hotay ap akelay hi ho. Sulgan apni individual hi rehti hai.
Aay: Bano Qudsia, Ishfaq Ahmed. They shared the wehshat. No?
Ell: Did they? *laughs* meri jaan, wehshi ko sakoon say kia matlab? Jogi ka shehar main thikana kia?
Ishfaq yunhi phir baabon ko dhoondtay phirtay thay?
Mujhay lagta hai, and of course I could be entirely wrong, wehshat ka unwaan badal jata hai. But jesay resham kay kapray ki intrinsic quality mulaimat hai, wehshi ki intrinsic quality uska iztaraab hai. Ander bharakti aag ka alaao hai. So talab ka unwaan badal jaey ga, dhuwaan uthay ga. Phir bhi uthay ga.
Car comes to a stop. And so does the conversation.
