Howay Shirk Ayyaan Jay Main Howaan

Some months ago I was reading the book Essential Sufism, authored by James Fadiman and Robert Frager, and happened to post an image somewhere with the following caption: 

When we performed Hajj in 2004, my mother was 47. I was 22, too energetic and too impatient to wait to let everyone pass. Why? I'd protest. 'Because they're in a hurry.' So are we, I'd sulk.'Are we? What for?' She'd smile gently at me ... 'sabr, meri jaan, sabr!' At that stage of life, the meanings I associated with 'sabr' had all negative connotations: the dignified garment of a powerless victim. It is now, that I've learnt what degree of strength it takes for one to let the Providence be one's only focus. There exists nothing else, except the thought of being in Presence and therefore you let go of everything that distracts you from it. Imagine the energy it takes to be so singularly focussed. Every move you make is with a purpose - to enhance your Presence. I learnt this lesson from my mother, whom I didn't recognise as a book reader. :)

Someone wrote to me asking the question this caption had triggered for them.

Assalamoalikum .I have two questions regarding your post at xxxxx . Sorry I didn't feel comfortable asking in the comments . Please feel free to ignore these if it's against your principles to discuss things this way 
When you used the term providence is this a translation of Rab? And have you tried to forget everything and remain aware of only him . How does one do that ? Your post was actually at a very opportune time . I was travelling to distract myself , to think about why I am stuck , and not moving forward. I read this sentence that" desire and unhappiness are congenital twins . Then I read your post . I am so tired

I wrote back:

Wassalam xxxxxx, 
I'm glad that you connected with the words and want to internalize the connection. I'd be honored if I could become a channel. 
Yes, I used Providence to refer to Rab, the Sustainer. 
To the second question I am afraid I do not have a straight answer. What is the recipe for making a stone in a water stream, in a riverbed, rounded? 
There is no cure, no dawa, no daru that exists outside of yourself. I have looked for any ready made solution for years. I didn't find any. Siwaey submission kay. 
Rab apko kaafi ho, har haal main har muqaam par. ameen. مَا وَدَّعَكَ رَبُّكَ وَمَا قَلَى

A one liner reply popped in my mailbox:

Dar sirf ye he k pathar gol hone se pehle toot na jae

Don't we all recognize this fear :) 
I wrote:

Itemenaan rakhain, aur kisi waswasay ko dil main na aanay dain.Rab ka promise hai: لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا
Bus aik baat nahi bhoolni ap nay ... even when you are not happy with yourself for trying hard enough, HE is keeping a track of all the effort you make ... even the one smaller than a dust particle. Even as small as smiling at a young one when you don't feel like it. HE knows.

Putting it up here as a reminder to every heart, including my own, in their dark night of faith.  

Image: Photography by Rudy Oei, East Java, Indonesia.

Time - The Custodian of Experiences

The message read:

Honest opinion Required. 
"What do you all think about the phrase, 'WAQT KE SATH KHUDI SUB THEEK HOJATA HAI?' Is it really applicable or do you all think its just a way to build your stamina etc?"

I wrote back:

We misuse the statement "waqt kay sath sab kuch khud hi theek ho jata hai". This statement is flawed because that makes us a passive participant of the situations we're facing.
What the original idea of the statement is: 'give it time and with an unclouded mind you'll come to understand why a particular scenario unfolded the way it did. You'll find healing in that understanding.' Time in itself is no magic wand: For a person never letting go of bitter memories, even 100 years won't make a dent in his state of rancour. Time, however, is custodian of experiences.
Prophet Yusuf spent almost a decade in jail, forgotten and helpless. Prophet Musa turned into a fugitive running for his life in a strange land, friendless and alone. Prophet Muhammad was stoned till blood glued his soles and shoes, he even called a year 'the year of grief', forlorn and devastated.
Did waqt kay sath khudi sab theek hoa un kay liay? Waqt kay sath ye understanding clear hoi that the most painful episode was the most significant milestone to enable them to reach where they were meant to be.
Waqt is only a tool. It is not a tabib. It is a dawa. You decide if you want to use it as per the TABIB's prescription, or not.
There is a course available at the Coursera platform, Learning How to Learn (you can take the course for free if you are not opting to get its certificate). I especially loved one specific bit of insight Dr.Terrence Sejnowski shared. Terry is a neuroscientist and he talks about the structure of our memory cells and how does our mind respond to our learning habits. He asked, 'if you are a couch-potato, and want to take part in a 10 km marathon, when will you start training for it? Is it going to be a day before the marathon?' Obviously not. We need time to train our muscles to grow into a particular way, to have enough strength. Terry then suggests considering how much of this preparatory routine do we offer to our thinking muscles. :) Time kay sath khudi kuch theek nahi hota. Time ko efficiently invest karna hota hai.
If it is about a particular set of circumstances, see where and how you can create your window of light. And perhaps once you receive sufficient light and your heart thrives in it, you'll discover that the circumstances you were finding ominously dark, don't even amount to anything now. As the Banyan tree grows, it out sizes the little pebbles that had once threatened its sprouting seed.  

Putting it up here as a reminder to every heart, including my own, in their dark night of faith.  

Image credits: Josep María Mompart