Some months ago I was reading the book Essential Sufism, authored by James Fadiman and Robert Frager, and happened to post an image somewhere with the following caption:
When we performed Hajj in 2004, my mother was 47. I was 22, too energetic and too impatient to wait to let everyone pass. Why? I'd protest. 'Because they're in a hurry.' So are we, I'd sulk.'Are we? What for?' She'd smile gently at me ... 'sabr, meri jaan, sabr!' At that stage of life, the meanings I associated with 'sabr' had all negative connotations: the dignified garment of a powerless victim. It is now, that I've learnt what degree of strength it takes for one to let the Providence be one's only focus. There exists nothing else, except the thought of being in Presence and therefore you let go of everything that distracts you from it. Imagine the energy it takes to be so singularly focussed. Every move you make is with a purpose - to enhance your Presence. I learnt this lesson from my mother, whom I didn't recognise as a book reader.
Someone wrote to me asking the question this caption had triggered for them.
Assalamoalikum .I have two questions regarding your post at xxxxx . Sorry I didn't feel comfortable asking in the comments . Please feel free to ignore these if it's against your principles to discuss things this way
When you used the term providence is this a translation of Rab? And have you tried to forget everything and remain aware of only him . How does one do that ? Your post was actually at a very opportune time . I was travelling to distract myself , to think about why I am stuck , and not moving forward. I read this sentence that" desire and unhappiness are congenital twins . Then I read your post . I am so tired
I wrote back:
Wassalam xxxxxx,
I'm glad that you connected with the words and want to internalize the connection. I'd be honored if I could become a channel.
Yes, I used Providence to refer to Rab, the Sustainer.
To the second question I am afraid I do not have a straight answer. What is the recipe for making a stone in a water stream, in a riverbed, rounded?
There is no cure, no dawa, no daru that exists outside of yourself. I have looked for any ready made solution for years. I didn't find any. Siwaey submission kay.
Rab apko kaafi ho, har haal main har muqaam par. ameen. مَا وَدَّعَكَ رَبُّكَ وَمَا قَلَى
A one liner reply popped in my mailbox:
Dar sirf ye he k pathar gol hone se pehle toot na jae
Don't we all recognize this fear :)
I wrote:
Itemenaan rakhain, aur kisi waswasay ko dil main na aanay dain.Rab ka promise hai: لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا
Bus aik baat nahi bhoolni ap nay ... even when you are not happy with yourself for trying hard enough, HE is keeping a track of all the effort you make ... even the one smaller than a dust particle. Even as small as smiling at a young one when you don't feel like it. HE knows.
Putting it up here as a reminder to every heart, including my own, in their dark night of faith.
Image: Photography by Rudy Oei, East Java, Indonesia.
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