The fortune of leading the pack of volunteers in a mentoring initiative for the development sector brings with it a fair share of clarity of thought and action, enriching life with plenitude moments of gratitude.
I haven't, lately, been sharing at this place happenings from my life.
Today might be a deviation.
Following is an excerpt from a whatsapp conversation between the mentor team leads and myself, and has been reproduced here with gratitude to the team who urged this entire conversation be saved as a document about the balance between the art of dreaming while not escaping reality.
The concern posed was how to keep a rational approach while training male and female mentees for goal setting in life since females do not get an equal opportunity when it comes to careers:
Concern:
I've realized we give our girls dreams that may not come true. Like you can become an astronaut & what not. Girls boys are equal but they have commitments that demand otherwise, like kids & home.
How do we balance the dream and reality?
Our education system as well as work places, act blind to this.
Reply:
How many boys who want to become astronauts become astronauts?
The ratio of un-met goals isn't starkly different between the genders.
The issue arises when we, in an attempt to make future a pretty sight for the kids, create an alternate reality world. Our job is not to provide them with dreams. Our role is to make them understand the virtue of commitment and the honesty of act. Whatever they do, be it flying a spaceship or raising a toddler while plucking cotton in a cotton field, do that knowing fully well that you're doing your best.
The problem is that we place our goals outside ourselves :)
Jobs - Careers - Position - Status - These are, at best, the addendum. Whenever we encourage children to dream in terms of these we put a limit on their potential as a human.
Our Prophet, whom we call the best sample of a human, tied his own shoes. Washed his own clothes. Ate nothing but dates dipped in water. Wiped his blood when the body was pelted with stones.
Where were the dreams? Did he not have any dreams?
He had. And his were like we should have ours - he was assigned a job, he HAD to do it to the fullest of his capacity.
If they have dreams to fly high, it is beautiful.
Tell them to grow their roots first. So that one day if the wings can't take the pressure of the opposing gale, they don't fall face down. And this can only be done when their strength comes not from their target residing far away in future, but from the character they're harboring right now.
I had a friend who couldn't get into medical college. She spent 4 years coming to terms with the set back.The point is, how good is the dream of becoming a certain professional when ander ka insan is so vulnerable? :)Ander ka insan strong karna asal issue hai. Professional qualifications, for girls as well as boys, come second.Quality of the person, that is our only reality.Make the reality strong and dreams will mould themselves around.The first hero speaker I listened to at my first Rahbar cycle had shared something that I find absolutely beautiful ....He said that his father had always taught him one thing, that if everything in life fails and he - the son, ends up with nothing but a "گنے کے رس کا ٹھیلا" (gannay kay rus ka Thaila), his should be the best drink serving Thaila of the town."Dil ka rus nikalna, ganna samajh kar", the old man had taught his son.I loved it. :)
Documented here for personal reference for future.
Any feedback is more than welcome.
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