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Monday, May 28, 2012

Phenomenal Woman



It was a beautiful poem ... PHENOMENAL WOMAN. She read it. Then re-read it. Her inner woman swayed to the magical tune of the verse... word by word, line by line. Yet she couldn't decide if the words were actually so charming in their own right, or had the way they reached her, made them so charismatic? 

Her lips curled, as the woman in her bosom chuckled with relief. She still existed. And it felt a phenomenal reminder!



Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.



from And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou


Monday, May 14, 2012

Had I Loved You Just A Little Less




"...When one has been as near to the reality of Life (which after all is Death) as I have been dearest, one only remembers the beautiful and tender moments and all the rest becomes a half veiled mist of unrealities. Try and remember me beloved as the flower you plucked and not the flower you tread upon." ... 

".. Darling I love you – I love you – and had I loved you just a little less I might have remained with you – only after one has created a very beautiful blossom one does not drag it through the mire. The higher you set your ideal the lower it falls. I have loved you my darling as it is given to few men to be loved. I only beseech you that the tragedy which commenced in love should also end with it..." 

From Ruttie Mariyam Jinnah's last letter to her husband, Muhammad Ali Jinnah. 



Sunday, April 29, 2012

Aakhri Notice


Aakhri Notice aik aisee kahani ka unwaan hai, jo aj say das bars pehlay 'zehr-e bay-taryaaq' kay naam say shurroo hoi thi.
Ye aik ajeeb kahani hai. Iss main koi hero, heroine nahi hai. Iss main kisi perfect love story ko barbaad karta koi villain bhi nahi hai. Ap soach rahay hon gay phir iss kahani main kia khaas baat hai? Phir iss main kahani kia hai? Ap ki hairat bhi baja hai... Lekin jo baat apko samjhni hai, aur iss kahani kay kirdaaron ko bhi; wo yeh hai kay jo kahani zehr say shuroo ho, wo amrat par tou khatum nahi hoti na! 
Kaun bachta hai, kaun jeeta hai, dekhi jaey gi sab Aakhri Notice kay baad!

Abida Parveen meray liay kisi alien world ki awaz thi. Never appealing, never charming. Sufism meray liay bay rah'rawon ka likeable costume tha. Khusro could very well be just another idle musician with no better claim to fame. Farsi ka jadoo sir charh kay bolta hai, mujhay idraak na tha.  Frank Sinatra maray hoay baabon ki pasand hai, mujhay yaqeen tha. Dard, soaz, ishq ki dain kionkar ho saktay hain, meri samjh say, aur interest say bala'tar tha... par phir ... 

Bhar ke zehr pyala main te aapay peeta!

Ap jaantay hain phir kia hoa? Nahi jaantay? ...

Tan rabaab, mun ki giri,
Sau ragain, bhaio sab taar
Yeh rom rom surdes hai, so bajet naam tehaar!



Aur ab jab har rag-e jaan main gundha double helical DNA structure, uss zehr-e bay taryaaq main tar-batar ho chuka hai, tou ab kaghaz kay purzay mujhay khabr detay hain rukhsat-e kaafla-e shauq ki tayaari ka!

Ishq-e majaazi, ishq-e haqeeqi tak na lay jaey, tou mehaz daam-e hawwas hota hai. Par iska kia kiya jaey jab ishq-e haqeeqi tak lay janay wala ishq maa'toob-e gumaan ho jaey? Zaat kay har har reshay say lipti ap uss amr-bail ko kesay ye keh saktay hain kay 'bus bhai, bohat ho chuka! Ab peechay hato aakhri notice aa gaya hai!' Nahi keh saktay na? Amr-bailain kahan sunti hain? Wo tou bus phelti jati hain, barhti jati hain... seenay kay beech main apni jaRain pewast kati, agay hi agay chalti jati hain!


Kabhi kabhi meray seenay main bohat zoar se tees uthti hai, kay kaash itni tahi-daman na hoti, tou soaz-e mohabbat ki koi chingari main bhi sulga paati. Kahin meray naam ka diya bhi jalta kisi mazaar-e ulfat par! Lekin shayed Qudrat kay dain kay apnay pemaanay hain. 


Sach bataon, tou ye sab ilfaaz utnay hi bay masraf hain, jitnay pichlay das saal. Jitna wo aik yellow smiley wala card... jitna zehr-e bay-taryaaq ka mussawada. Jitni wo kaalay wrapper wali bon-bon toffee.


Bus aik sense of urgency hai. Kionkay ab khayaal kay dosh par honay wala zikr bhi baar-e gunah liay hoay ho ga.


I, hereby, surrender it all.


In safhon main rachi basi, Abida ki har taan main goonjti, farsi kay har shaer say phooTti, Khusro ki har kaafi say lipti, sufism ki aanch main sulagti, har mohabbat ki hikayat bay-unwaan hai. Uska koi naam nahi. Uska koi mukhatib nahi.



Ye Aakhri Notice hai.

Aur aakhri izhaar-e mohabbat bhi.




Lo hum nay daman jhaar diya, lo jaam ultaey detay hain!



Friday, April 20, 2012



Aur ab tou khayal bhi baar-e gunah liay hoay hota hai...




Ay mohabbat, teray anjaam pe rona aya!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Journey Of This Night


Following is reportedly Rumi's last sonnet.


رو سر بنه به بالین تنها مرا رها کن
ترک من خراب شبگرد مبتلا کن
ماییم و موج سودا، شب تا به روز تنها
خواهی بیا ببخشا ، خواهی برو جفا کن
از من گریز تا تو ، هم در بلا نیفتی
بگزین ره سلامت، ترک ره بلا کن
ماییم و آب دیده ، در کنج غم خزیده
بر آب دیده ما صد جای آسیا کن
خیره کشی است مارا ، دارد دلی چو خارا
بکشد ، کسش نگوید :" تدبیر خونبها کن"
بر شاه خوبرویان واجب وفا نباشد
ای زرد روی عاشق ، تو صبر کن، وفا کن
دردی است غیر مردن ، آن را دوا نباشد
پس من چگونه گویم کاین درد را دوا کن؟
در خواب ، دوش، پیری در کوی عشق دیدم
با دست اشارتم کرد که عزم سوی ما کن
گر اژدهاست بر ره ، عشق است چون زمرد
از برق این زمرد ، هین ، دفع اژدها کن


کلیّات شمس، ۲۰۳۹






Go, rest your head on a pillow, leave me alone;
leave me ruined, exhausted from the journey of this night,
writhing in a wave of passion till the dawn.
Either stay and be forgiving,
or, if you like, be cruel and leave.
Flee from me, away from trouble;
take the path of safety, far from this danger.
We have crept into this corner of grief,
turning the water wheel with a flow of tears.
While a tyrant with a heart of flint slays,
and no one says, "Prepare to pay the blood money."
Faith in the king comes easily in lovely times,
but be faithful now and endure, pale lover.
No cure exists for this pain but to die,
So why should I say, "Cure this pain"?
In a dream last night I saw
an ancient one in the garden of love,
beckoning with his hand, saying, "Come here."
On this path, Love is the emerald,
the beautiful green that wards off dragon's nough,
I am losing myself.
If you are a man of learning,
read something classic,
a history of the human struggle
and don't settle for mediocre verse.


-Rumi's Last Sonnet
Kolliyat-i-Shams, 2039





Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Pi Kar Bhi Kahan Jana!




Last night I came across a verse shared at twitter, that belonged to the following track. 

Raat se subh ho gai, ye kaif-e mastaaN khatum ho kay na dia! :)

This is the very track from where I had joined the fan club of this phenomenon they call Abida!


Abida Parveen's vocals rendering a Superb kalaam, supported by western instruments in a hybrid composition.




Main naara-e-mastana,  main shouqi- e- rindana
Main tashna kahan jaaon, pi kar bhi kahan jana


Main souz-e-mohabbat hoon, main aik qayamat hoon
Main ashk-e-nadaamat hoon, main gohar-e-yakdana


Main tahir-e-laahooti, main johar-e-malkooti
Nasoot ne kab mujh ko is haal mein pehchana


Main shamm-e- farozaan hoon, main aatish-e-larzaan hoon
Main sozish-e-hijraan hoon, main manzil-e-parwana


Kis yaad ka sehra hoon, kis chashm ka darya hoon
Khud toor ka jalwa hoon, hai shakl qalbhana


Main husn-e-mujassim hoon, main gesu-e-barham hoon
Main phool hoon shabnam hoon, main jalwa-e-janana


Main wasif-e-bismil hoon, main ronaq-e-mehfil hoon
Ik toota howa dil hoon, main shehar mein veerana



Monday, April 9, 2012

Love Letter




Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.  She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her.  I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words: 

Dear God, Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her. Love, Meredith 

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. 
A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet.  I told her that I thought He had. 

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note: 

Dear Meredith, Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away. Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.  Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find, I am wherever there is love. Love, God…

"

Author anonymous.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Aj Ki Raat, Aur Uska Chaand, Insha Kay Sath




Sham samay aik oonchi seehriyon walay ghar kay angan main
Chaand ko utaray daikha hum nay, chaand bhi kaisa? Poora chaand

Insha jee in chahnay wali, daikhnay wali ankhoon nay
Mulkon mulkon, shehron shehron, kaisa kaisa daikha chaand

Har aik chaand ki apni dhuj thi, har aik chaand ka apna roop
Lekin aisa roshan roshan, hansta baatain karta chaand?

Dard ke Tees tu uth'ti thi, par itni bhi, bharpoor kabhi?
Aaj say pehlay kab utra tha dil main itna gehra chaand!

Hum nay tu kismat kay dar say jab paye andhayaray paye
Yeh bhi chaand ka sapna ho ga, kaisa chaand, kahaan ka chaand?

Insha jee dunya walon main bay-saathi, bay-dost rahay
Jaisay taaron kay jhurmat main tanha chaand, akela chaand

In ka daman iss doulat say khaali ka khaali hi raha
Warna tha dunya main kitnay chaandi chaand aur sona chaand

Jug kay charon koat main ghooma, selaani hayraan howa
Iss basti kay iss koochay kay iss angan main aisa chaand?

Ankhoon main bhi, chitwan main bhi, chaand hi chaand jhalaktay hain
Chaand hi teeka, chaand hi jhoomar, chehra chaand aur maatha chaand

Aik yeh chaand nagar ka baasi jis say door raha sunjoag
Warna iss dunya main sab nay chaha chaand aur paya chaand


Anbar nay dharti par phaikee noor ki cheent, udaas udaas
Aaj ki shab tu andhi shab thi, aaj kidhar say nikla chaand?

Insha jee yeh aur nagar hai, iss basti ke reet yehi hai
Sab ki apni apni ankhain, sab ka apna apna chaand

Apnay seenay kay mat'la par jo chamka woh chaand howa
Jis nay man kay andhyaaray mein aan kiya uj'yaara, chaand

Chanchal muskaati muskaati gori ka mukhra, mehtaab
Patt jhar kay paiRoon main at'ka, peela sa ik patta chaand

Dukh ka darya, sukh ka sagar iss kay dam say daikh liye
Hum ko apnay saath he lay kar dooba aur ubhra chaand

Jhuki jhuki palkoon kay neechay numnaaki ka naam na tha!
Yeh kanta jo humain chubha hai, kaash tujhay bhi chubhta chaand

Roshniyoon ki peeli kirchain, poorab pacham phail gaeen
Tu nay kis shay kay dhookay main, pathar pay day tapka chaand?

Hum nay tou dono ko daikha, dono hi bay-dard, kathoar!
Dharti wala, anbar wala, pehla chaand aur dooja chaand!

Chaand kisi ka ho nahi sakta, chaand kisi ka hota hai?
Chaand ki khatir zid nahi kartay, aye meray achay Insha chaand!

Ibn-e-Insha

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Prank, Ploy, Plot




A view filling your vision completely, may still not be the complete picture!

And on that note, have a great night, folks! :)

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Jinhain Ehtamaal'e Bahaar Tha



... Wohi phool rung badal gaey!


Tonight I can die of an overdose of the following :)



The poet of this epic ghazal is Shair Lakhnavi.


Thursday, March 29, 2012

Mohabbat - Dynamics




تخلیق ہمیشہ محبّت سے پھوٹتی ہے. اس کو محبت ہی پال پوس کر پروان چڑھاتی ہے. پھر یہ محبت ہی کی طرف قدم بڑھاتی ہے اور اسی میں گم ہو جاتی ہے.
لیکن محبت کا دروازہ ان لوگوں پر کھلتا ہے جو اپنی انا اور اپنے نفس سے منہ موڑ لیتے ہیں. اپنی انا کو کسی کے سامنے پامال کر دینا مجازی عشق ہے. اپنی انا کو بہت سوں کے آگے پامال کر دینا عشق حقیقی ہے.
محبت جنسی جذبے کا نام نہیں. جو لوگ جنس کو محبت کا نام دیتے ہیں وہ ساری عمر محبت سے عاری رهتے ہیں. جب محبت اپنے نقطہ عروج پہ پہنچتی ہے جنس خود بہ خود ختم ہو جاتی ہے جنس سے انحراف کر کے یا اسے دبا کر اس سے چھٹکارا حاصل نہیں کیا جا سکتا. محبت میں اتر کر اس سے گلو خلاصی کی جا سکتی ہے.
محبّت کا سفر اختیار کرنے کے لیے پہلی منزل فیملی یونٹ کی ہے. جو شخص پہلی منزل تک ہی نہیں پہنچ پاتا وہ آخری منزل پر کسی صورت بھی نہیں پہنچ سکتا
فیملی اور کنبے کو قائم رکھنا محبّت ہی کی ذمیداری ہے.
محبّت کے بغیر انسان ایک فرد ہے. ایک ایگو ہے, خالی انا ہے. اس کا کوئی گھر بار نہیں، کوئی فیملی نہیں، اس کا دوسروں کے ساتھ کوئی رشتہ نہیں، کوئی تعلق نہیں. یہ بے تعلقی یہ نا رشتیداری موت ہے، زندگی تعلق ہے، رشتےداری ہے.

(اقتباس: اشفاق احمد کی کتاب "زاویہ ٣" کے باب "محبت کی حقیقت" کے صفحہ نمبر "٢٣٩" سے)


Quite amusingly it reminded me of my last night's post Life Tiptoed. Out.

Life Tiptoed. Out.


He loved her. 
But what he hated with greater intensity, were all the times he had proved to be less of a man. 

And with her came their reminders!




Thursday, March 22, 2012

Che Goyem?



Hallaj steps away from the pulpit and climbs the stairs to the gallows. - Rumi




Saturday, March 17, 2012

Saline Words

"Writing for me was always a great stress reliever, a way of dealing with pain." - Bret Easton Ellis

Thursday, the 15th of March 2012...

When expiration and existence came like sweeping waves, crashing over me. 
An experience whose electricity is still running through my nerves!
It was an ordinary day, a rather lazy one. My second mug of coffee was half way through when the cell beeped at 11:13 am. I glanced over the screen and found kid's school name flashing over the screen. Something just ticked a time bomb inside me. It didn't take even a second for the call to be answered.

hello?
Is this angel's mother?
Yes.
I'm angel's teacher.
Is everything ok?
Can you come to school?
Is he hurt?
Yes.
Is he bleeding?
(Pause) A little.
Is he crying?
He was. But he is settled now. He has a chocolate in his hand and we are sitting in the office.
I'll be there in 30 minutes. Could you please tell him that his mama is coming?
I will.

I had left my office before clicking 'End Call'.

What followed were the 12 longest minutes of my life! 
It took the next 12 minutes to reach his school, and a score of times I experienced extinction.


As I entered the school gate, a school staff stepped out of the Admin office across the school yard with two blood stained towels in hand. Another cessation!

I stepped in the office at 11:25am and there, just on the extreme left, there he was.



The next 4 hours I kept doubting God's capacity to grant me enough strength to enable me keep acting as the tenacious support for my son. 
I wanted to cry with him. To just hold him in my arms kissing his blood stained neck... and cry!
36 hours have eloped since then, and I still can feel the salt of the tears held back, in my throat.


But, I didn't cry.


I couldn't cry, for his confidence in  me as his support asked me to remain strong.



This is when he slept later at home. 

Do you see that tightly snuggled li'll kitty? :)

"Mama, teacher Yasmeen (his headmistress) said, when the child's parents gonna see him like this, they'll have a 'hard attack'", he revealed to me as I tucked him in the blanket.

He decided to be the 'Baba' (father) of the kitty, "bilkul jaisee ap meri mama ho" (just the kind you make my mom)


I'm not sure if it would actually be a great idea to be just like me, but I sure loved the way he snuggled the kitty in his arms.


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Charming, Not!





میں نے انتظار کرنے والوں کو دیکھا.انتظار کرتے کرتے سو جانے والوں کو بھی اور مر جانے والوں کو بھی. میں نے مضطرب نگاہوں اور بے چین بدنوں کودیکھا ہے.آہٹ پے لگے ہوئے کانوں کے زخموں کو دیکھا.انتظار میں کانپتے ہوئے ہاتھوں کو دیکھا . منتظر آدمی کے دو وجود ہوتے ہیں. ایک وہ جو مقررہ جگہ پر انتظار کرتا ہے، دوسرا وہ جو جسد خاکی سے جدا ہو کر پذیرائی کے لئے بہت دور نکل جاتا ہے. جب انتظار کی گھڑیاں دنوں،مہینوں اور سالوں پر پھیل جاتی ہیں تو کبھی کبھی دوسرا وجود واپس نہیں آتا اور انتظار کرنے والے کا وجود،اس خالی ڈبے کی طرح رہ جاتا ہے جسے لوگ خوبصورت سمجھ کر سینت کے رکھ لیتے ہیں او کبھی اپنے آپ سے جدا نہیں کرتے. یہ خالی ڈبا کئی بار بھرتا ہے، قسم قسم کی چیزیں اپنے اندر سمیٹتا ہے، لیکن اس میں "وہ" لوٹ کر نہیں آتا جو پذیرائی کے لئے آگے نکل گیا تھا .ایسے لوگ بڑے مطمین اورپورے طور پہ شانت ہوجاتے ہیں .ان مطمئن، پرسکون اور شانت لوگوں کی پر سنیلٹی میں بڑا چارم ہوتا ہے اور انہیں اپنی باقی ماندہ زندگی اسی چارم کے سہارے گزارنی پڑتی ہے.یہی چارم آپ کو سوفیا کی شخصیتوں میں نظر آے گا.یہی چارم عمر قدیوں کے چہرے پر دکھائی دے گا اور اسی چارم کی جھلک آپکو عمر رسیدہ پروفیسروں کی آنکھوں میں نظر آے گی.


از اشفاق احمد، "سفر در سفر" سے انتخاب




And life is different when the wait is no more.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Iss Basti Kay Ik Koochay Main...



If the above embedded video player doesn't work for you, try this one:





Parbat kay us par dais mein zindagi yun machalti thi jaisay shoakh pahaari jharnay... athlaati, khilkhilati, gungunati! 

Parbat ki bulandioon par basayra karti barf ki haakmiyat ko bus issi ik dais ki garamjoshi challenge karti thi; musalsal na khatum honay walla challenge! 

Har roaz aankhain moonday angraiyaan laita susst sa sooraj rooee kay gaaloon kay beech se us gahazbnaak malkaa ko daikhta, jiska sard-tar mizaaj us dais ki naqabal-e shikast baghawat par aag-bagoola hoay jata.


...

Nafrat ki ye aag itni pheli kay parbat ki bulandiooon se us sard-ro hakim ne us garm-khoo dais ko mitanay kay liay miti main milna gawara kar liya! 

Aik sailaab aya, aur basti ko baha kar le gaya ... 

Duur. Bohat duur. Nigah kay haq se bhi paray...


Basti, khaak nasheenoN ki thi. So, wo mitti main mitti ho gai.

Masla tou us sard saltanat ka hai...

Us sar-e pur-ghuroor ka jo mitti ko mitti main mila denay kay liay pani main beh gaya!


Ab kuch nahi jo parbat ki bulandioon par basayra karti us barf ki haakmiyat ko challenge karta ho. Laikin naajanay kion apnay seenay ki barfeeli khunki kay bawajood, us ka dil thunda kion nahi ho raha...



Ab hota koi Kabeer ka rung, tou raavi us hukmaraan ki fatah ka qisa likhta,

"bhala hoa mori matki phooti re..."


Lekin, ab, raavi us shoakh ahang dais ki mitti main mili zindagi ko dekhay ga aur iss shikast par sirf ye likhay ga...


"*Chal Khusro ghar aapnay, saanjh bheyo chahu des"




*Let's, O Khusru, head home now. The dusk settles all across now.



Friday, February 17, 2012

Ameen!




It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

اللهُمَّ لا سَهْلَ إلا مَا جَعَلتَهُ سَهْلا وَ أنتَ تَجْعَلُ الحزْنَ إذا شِئْتَ سَهْلا

O Allah! Nothing is easy but that which You make easy and You can make hardship easy if You will.”


َ.إِنَّكَ عَلَى مَا تَشَاءُ قَدِيرٌ وَ أَنْتَ حَسْـبُنَا اللَّهُ وَ نِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ

“O Allah! You do whatever You wish, and You are my Availer and Protector and Best of aid.”