Assalamoalikum,
I came across someone just yesterday who (claims to) have been blessed in a very special way. He is a serving bureaucrat. He wrote a naat and as a result he was visited by ...you know. He was also approached by the matawali of the Roza e Mubarak and given a moe Mubarak. All this led me to question once again why not me? And this question means I am back to square one. Not only I don't get to take a glimpse of this whole other world, I am not deemed worthy of it despite my intense desire , it also means that I haven't moved forward I am still questioning I am still complaining though I am resisting but I am really disappointed in myself and my destiny at the same time.
I wrote back:
1. Imtehaan vary kartay hain in their appearance and format. Two people tried at the same degree of difficulty, may have entirely different question papers: kisi ko day kar aazmaya jata hai, kisi ko mehroom rakh kar.
2. Gila/shikwa is as much human as is gratitude. Quran talks about Musa's prayers, about Yahya's pleas, about Yaqoob's anguish... only to teach us that disappointments are real and legit. We don't have to deny them. We only have to learn how to behave when we face one. How to channel that dark energy.
3. Jis ki aazmaish ata kay zariay ho, uski degree of difficulty meray aur apkay imtehaan say zayada honay ki probability high hai.
Sochain us ghareeb ki pakar kis kis baat pe ho sakti hai? To feel superior, to not be befittingly grateful, to not be humble enough, to not keep in line with the decorum of the honour bestowed.
4. It is not always a bad deal to be a back bencher, as long as you manage to attend the class.
5. Walking a certain path, could very well be a privilege, an honour, a gift, in its own right. There's no question of worth or un-worth.
I'll let Rumi answer this: https://leenahnasir.blogspot.com/2009/11/love-dogs-rumi.html
6. Pray for the bureaucrat sb. :)
He might benefit from it. So would you.
The person replied with a one-liner message:
My longing is my reward?
I wrote back:
Yes. :)
Alhamdulillah
Check this out when you have time: https://soundcloud.com/ell_enn/wasif-ali-wasif-intezaar
Got this a while later:
Alhumdullilah :)
Aap ne mujhe aasani Di Allah aap k liye aasani kare leenah. JazakAllah.
Putting it up here as a reminder to every heart, including my own, in their dark night of faith.
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