Self Obsessed Blabbering

Okay... so it doesn't feel THAT bad across the fence!

One reason might be that unlike the last decade when I would have settled at nothing less than the best, I haven't chosen any more arbitrary goals under the "best" umbrella! Definitions bara masla daal daiti hain na! :)

The strange bit is, THIS time its about a decade, and not a year! Seems like a quantum leap! :)

So, this decade has two fold importance, as this of mine shall see my son stepping into his teenage, inshaAllah! :) And YES! that is THE highlight of this decade for me. This makes me want to have a couple of features enlisted under that highlight, and yes, I think I've secretly begun enjoying what had been quite a tiresome milestone earlier on!

Ten years back, I believed in the beauty of " Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse behind". Ten years later, my learning has taught me: "Go slow, don't die before living thorough, and forget about the corpse... you aren't gonna see it anyways!" ;)  

So, alhamdolillah.

PS: Though I didn't really look forward to making it this far.

Note To Self

Tu bacha bacha kay na rakh issay, tera aaeena hai wo aaeena

Kay shikista ho tou azeeztar hai, nigah-e Aaeena-saaz main!

touching with fingers the naked body of the dreams: ... Magar Hosh Nahin

Edited version of:

touching with fingers the naked body of the dreams: ... Magar Hosh Nahin

Warning: Highly Inflammable

The following lyrics have been penned by Fana Buland Sheri, the wand behind many of the NFAK's incurable spells.

Aag daman mein lag ja'ey ga
Dil mein shola machal ja'ey ga

Mera saagar na choona kabhi, saathiya haath jal ja'ey ga
Mere ashq bhi hain is mein, yeh sharaab ubal na ja'ey
Mera jaam choonay walay, tera haath jal na ja'ey

Aik din woh zaroor aa'en gay, dard ka saya tal ja'ey ga

Is zamanay ki parwa nahi, yeh zamana badal ja'ey ga

Aa gaya mera aankhon mein dam, ab jo jalwa dikha dijiay
Aap ki baat reh ja'ey gi, mera armaan nikal ja'ey ga

Besabab hum say rootho na tum, Yeh larai buri cheez hai
Yeh ada hai ya dil ka jalana, hum manatay hein tum roothtay ho
Hum jo roothay tou pachhtao gay tum, roaz tum ko manana paray ga

Milna hai jo ghairoon say tou phir saaf he keh do, 

Yoon rooth kay janay ka bahana nahi acha
Besabab hum say rootho na tum, yeh larai buri cheez hai
Sulah kar lo Khuda kay liyeah, yeh bura waqt tal ja'ey ga

Mai-kasho uss nazar ki suno, keh rahi hai wo shola badan
Mein nahi jaam mein aag hai jo pi'ay ga woh jal ja'ey ga

Koi aanso nahi aankh mein baat ghar ki abhi ghar mein hai
Tum jo yoon he satatay rahay dard aashiqoon mein dhal ja'ey ga

Duur hain jab talak tum say hum kaisay hoga mudawa e gham
Aik dafa tum milo tou sanam gham khushi mein badal ja'ey ga

Gar yoon hi ghar mein baithay raha maar daalay gi tanhaiyaan
Chal zara mai-kaday mein chalein ay Fanaa, dil behal ja'ey ga

InshaAllah

Its getting tougher. Stifling.

The pressure is mounting, and she has no clue about the number of times each day she wonders if this strain is going to shred her into numerous fragments...  

There is so much she has been trying to bury in her chest, that breathing, itself has become a labourous task. No, literally, actually!

Yet, its only now, that she is so sure its gonna work out! "InshaAllah", she whispered.

She is sure; because its after days that she did not try to hide behind the sound of loud music. She had been camouflaging her turmoil under the cover of music; sedating her monstrous worries with a dose of music... veiling her naked traumas with unending stream of melodious notes!  

This did not happen today. Her drive was quiet, and so was her day... like it used to be when she used to be at ease with herself.

She is sure its gonna work out, "inshaAllah", as she whispers, because its only now that she would actually surrender.

Without a sedate, the stifling pain shall render her prayers saline.

A cornered cat knows it has no where to go. 

A cornered her knows its only Him, she can anchor unto. And for dear life, she anchors hard...

PS:

HE loves saline!

Kya Jaanain?

Saaz ye keena-saaz kya jaanain

Naaz walay niyaaz kya jaanain

Jinko apni khabhar nahi ab tak

Woh meray dil ka raaz kya jaanain

Poochiay maey-kashon say luft-e-sharaab

Yeh mazaa pak baaz kya jaanain

Jo guzartay hain ‘Daagh’ par sadmay

Aap banda nawaaz kya jaanain

Voyage Through The Dark

In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.

- Dante Alighieri

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

Plato

Character is what a man is in the dark.

Dwight L. Moody

There is in every woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.

Washington Irving

What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self!

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark.

Dan Millman

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own.

Willa Cather

For My Love

I swear my dear son

no one in the entire world

is as precious as you are

look at that mirror

take a good look at yourself

who else is there above and beyond you

now give yourself a kiss

and with sweet whispers

fill your ears to the brim

watch for all that beauty

reflecting from you

and sing a love song to your existence

you can never overdo

praising your own soul

you can never over-pamper your heart

you are both

the father and the son

the sugar and the sugar cane

who else but you

please tell me who else

can ever take your place

now give yourself a smile

what is the worth of a diamond

if it doesn't shine

how can i ever put a price

on the diamond that you are

you are the entire treasure of the house

you and your shadow

are forever present in this world

you're that glorious bird of paradise

-- Ghazal 2148, from the Diwan-e Shams

Poetic translation by Nader Khalili

"Rumi, Fountain of Fire"

To Sleep Again

Disney doesn't confirm if the Sleeping Beauty never went to sleep again! 

I Say ...

loved it. Loved it. Loved it!

امشب سراغ نشه پری میدهد به بزم................ زاهد بیا که شبشه تقوا شکسته به

Only If The Hawk Knew

Rumi, The Call.

Sole Reality

The real work of religion is permanent astonishment.
By that I don't mean in astonishment turning your back on Him -
I mean - blazing in blind ecstacy, drowned in God and drunk on Love.

------------------------

The sail of the ship of man's being is belief.
When there is a sail, the wind can carry him
To place after place of power and wonder.
No sail, all words are winds.

------------------------

You say you have seen Him, but your eyes are two stones.
You say you have known Him, but nothing in you trembles.
You still say "I" when you speak of surviving His glory:
No one who has seen It has ever survived.

------------------------

How can you ever hope to know the Beloved
Without becoming in every cell the Lover?
And when you are the Lover at last, you don't care.
Whatever you know or don't - only Love is real.

-Rumi

When Tomorrow Comes

Feast on sweetmeats or on roast,   

Drink the wine that you love most:   

What's that savour on your lips?   

Water that a dreamer sips!

     When tomorrow you arise

   And great thirst upon you lies,

   Little use will be that deep

   Draught you've taken whilst asleep. 

- Rumi

... Bura Roag Bhi Hai

... Yeh soch kar, phir...

Manam Mehv-e Khayal

The original kalam of Bu Ali Shah Qalandar (1209- 1324) uses the word "jamal-e oo" instead of "khayal-e oo"

منم محوِ خیال او نمی دانم کُجا رفتم
شُدم غرقِ وصال او  نمی دانم کُجا رفتم

In the thoughts of my Love, I've sunk
Knoweth not I, where I go
In the embrace of my Love I drowned
I lost all clue, where I go!

غلامِ روئے او بودم اسیر روئے او بودم
غبارِ کوئے او بودم نمی دانم کُجا رفتم

Surrendered to a glimpse of Thee O' Love
Caught within those long tresses am I

Turned to dust in Thy path, swirl I
Oh, but knoweth not I, where I go!

بہ عام آشنا گشم زجان و دل فدا گشتم
فنا گشتم فنا گشتم نمی دانم کُجا رفتم

Thee is who they know of, when know of wandering I
Lost my heart and soul to Thou, now wander I
Perished into this wandering... ruined am I
Yet, where do I stray, can not see I

قلندر بو علی ہستم بنام دوست سر مستم
دل اندر عشق او بستم  نمی دانم کُجا رفتم

Bu Ali Qalandar - Ecstatic at the mention of the Beloved

Existing over the intoxication of love
Knoweth not I ... where I go!

Kalam: Bu Ali Shah Qalandar
Inapt translation: mine


Video credits: Sufi Music

Jogi Utar Paharon Aya

Drained, dead tired, I was searching for something by Abida ji to listen before I hit the pillow. 

Yes, I dont smoke, I dont drink... but I do keep certain indulgences. Abdullah, coffee and Abida... exactly in that order!

Fumbling through youtube, I was sure it would be "bekhudi bay-sabab nahi Ghalib", in Abida's voice that would make the last mark before I lose track of time and space...

But, I stumbled across something else!

A gem! :)

Totally, absolutely, ultimately SO in love with it!

The night suddenly feels beautiful... jogi utar paharon aya..

PS:
Do I also need to mention I feel warmly cuddled in a loving embrace, as I recall amma humming the words ...

PPS:
Apologies for not providing any translation for my non punjabi speaking friends. This is a tappa, and its simplicity is beyond my scope of translation... :)

Saaqi-Nama

Here's a joint!

Two different poets; Two singers. 

The point of commonality is the spirit of the words: Ruthless. Killing.

Aren't these the kind of words that take your heart away? 

These are. These not only take it away; these words tear it down, chop it up, smash it, squeeze it ... 

... and draw the elixir out. 

Drew the elixir out!

But kia karain kay 'nasha baqadr-e hosla-e badakhuar tha!'

Which One Is True?

When you set out on a journey without a clue of the destination in your gear, it leads you right back to where you started.

OR

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” 
-Andre Gide

Dedicated To ... Moi :p

Fly To Heaven

This is love: to fly to heaven, every moment to rend a hundred veils;

At first instance, to break away from breath -- first step, to renounce feet;

To disregard this world, to see only that which you yourself have seen.

I said, "Heart, congratulations on entering the circle of lovers,

"On gazing beyond the range of the eye, on running into the alley of the breasts."

Whence came this breath, O heart? Whence came this throbbing, O heart?

Bird, speak the tongue of birds: I can heed your cipher!

The heart said, "I was in the factory whilst the home of water and clay was abaking.

"I was flying from the workshop whilst the workshop was being created.

"When I could no more resist, they dragged me; how shall I

tell the manner of that dragging?"

Rumi

Source: "Mystical Poems of Rumi", A.J. Arberry

Hum-Nawaee. Na Thi.

Following is a master piece by Naseer Turabi (it was a grave mistake to mention Addam as the poet earlier on, for which I apologize!) 

Sung differently, by two distinct voices, the two versions must not be compared, for each has its own flavor. Each bringing forth a newer dimension of heart ache that only the poet could envision. Or a listener might feel.

"Woh hamsafar tha, magar uss say hum-nawaee na thi" is poignant. And many a times, such a true story!

Tark e taulaqaat pe, roya na tu na mein,

Lakin yeh kya keh chain se soya na tu, na mein

Woh humsafar tha magar us say hum-nawaee na thi

keh dhoop chaaon ka alam raha, judaee na thi

Mohabbaton ka safar is tarha bhi guzra tha

Shikasta dil thay musaafir shikasta-paaee na thi

Adawatain theen, taghaful tha, ranjishain theen

Bicharhnay walay main sab kuch tha, bewafaee na thi

Bicharhtay waqt un aankhon main thi humari ghazal

Ghazal bhi woh jo kisi ko abhi sunayi na thi

Kabhi yeh haal keh donon main yakdili thi Naseer

Kabhi yeh marhala jaisay keh aashnaee na thi

Untitled.

Khuda wo waqt na laye kay sogawar ho tu

sukoon ki neend tujhay bhi haram ho jaye

teri musarrat-e-paiham tamam ho jaye

teri hayat tujhay talkh jam ho jaye

ghamon se aina-e-dil gudaz ho tera

Hujoom-e-yas se betaab ho ke reh jaye

wafoor-e-dard se simab ho ke reh jaye

tera shabaab faqat khwaab ho ke reh jaye

ghuroor-e-husn sarapa niyaz ho tera

taweel raton main tu bhi qarar ko tarsay

teri nigah kisi gamgusar ko tarsay

khizaan raseeda tamanna bahaar ko tarse

koi jaeen na teray sang-e-astan pe jhuke

ke jins-e-ijz-o-aqidat se tujh ko shad kare

fareb-e-wada-e-farda pe aetamad kare

Khuda wo waqt na laye ke tujh ko yad aye

wo dil ke tere liye be-qarar ab bhi hai

wo ankh jis ko tera intazar ab bhi hai

Yeh Jalwa-Giri Kis Ki Hai!

Nuktacheen hai gham-e-dil usko sunaye na banay

Kya banay baat jahan baat banaye na banay

Bojh woh sar pe gira hai ke uthaye na uthay

Kaam woh aan paRa hai ke banaye na banay

Ghair phirta hai liye yoon teray khat ko ke agr

koi poochay ke ye kia hai tou chupaey na banay

Keh sakay kaun ke yeh jalwa-giri kis ki hai

Parda choara hai jo uss nay, ke uthaey na banay

Main bhulata tou hoon usko magar ay jazbaa-e-dil

Uspay ban jaaye kuch aesi ke bin aaye na banay 

Ishq par zoar nahin hai yeh woh aatish `Ghalib'

Ke lagaye na lagay aur bujhaye na banay

Ghalib Set the Condition Right! :)

Latafat ba kasafat jalwah paida kar nahin sakti

Chaman, zangar hai aeena'ay baad'ay bahari ka

Hareef-e josh-e darya, nahin khuddaar-e-sahil

Jo saqi ho to, batil hai dawa hoshyari ka

-Ghalib

Quote

"Then lets see how long now can last. And remember, Dr Jones. You asked for it."